He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
