How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
