Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
