But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
