her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
