My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
