"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
