You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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