the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
