Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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