carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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