she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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