Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Randomize
