I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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