i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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