Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
