I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
this beer tastes like vomit already
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
