You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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