im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
