Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
