That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
