was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
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