You're so nebulous sometimes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
