"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
