he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
