they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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