How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
