im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
