dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
