dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
