just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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