So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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