Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
false alarm. still invincible.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize