They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize