Who wears a wallet chain?!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
