he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Pants are for mortals
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
