I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
