OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize