i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
