I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
