Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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