Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
