So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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