I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
