I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
bring money and cleavage
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
