On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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