i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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