I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
