Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize