based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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