I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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