I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
