so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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