You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
