My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
