Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize