So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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