And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just invented taco cereal.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
