it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
