He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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