Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize