Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
