So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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