you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
