well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
