I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
