I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
