I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
