pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I've blown a few things in my day
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
