two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
